not going to lose you
by iheartcsi
Summary: Sara and Grissom finally start a relationship when tragedy strikes...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: CSI and its characters are NOT mine.  
ok, I know this is short, but I am just getting started. Let me know what you think..I have other chapters planned, but I am not totally sure where this is going....we'll see.  
  
The scream erupted from Sara's mouth as she saw him go down. She repeated as her feet led her to him as fast as she could go. Sobbing, she took him in her arms.  
The words came only as a whisper from his mouth.  
Sara didn't notice the swarm of people and chaos around her. At that moment, only they existed. Hang on Gris, she said as she ran her hand down his face and surveyed his wound: He'd been shot in the abdomen and was bleeding profusely. Hearing the sirens approach, Sara gently kissed his forehead.  
Sara, I love you, his raspy voice said as if it was the last time he'd ever say it.  
I love you too Gil. Everything is going to be ok. I am not going lose you. She meant it, too There was no way she was going to let the past two days of bliss they'd had end. Grissom WAS going to be fine.  
---Two Days Earlier---  
Putting down the journal she has just read, Sara gave her boss a sly grin. You know Gris, that WAS a good article, but something tells me that isn't why I'm here.  
What on earth would give you that idea, Ms. Sidle? Grissom said with a devilish grin.  
Earlier, during shift, they'd had one of their silent conversations. Their eyes told each other that they could no longer hide their feelings for each other. So he'd asked her to his place to read an article.  
Grissom inched closer to Sara and touched her face gingerly. Moving his hand down to her neck, he brought her face to his and delicately kissed her eyelid.  
she whispered. A girl could get used to that.  
  



	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own em  
This is a little bit longer than the first one. I hope you like it! let me know if you do (or don't). Also, sometimes I feel like I'm rambling....let me know if you agree and maybe I can stop that.  
  
  
  
Is that right? Grissom quipped as Sara traced circles on his back with her fingertip. How about this? HIs lips met hers in the most passionate kiss either of them has ever experienced. Grissom's mouth ventured to Sara's knack and she returned the favor by sweetly kissing his ear. They slowly removed each other's clothes and Sara and Grissom connected in a way neither of them thought possible.....  
Lying together in euphoria, the two fell asleep.  
  
  
exclaimed Sara.  
Grissom woke with a frown on his face. His thoughts immediately led him to believe that Sara regretted what they had done. It broke his heart.  
Sara yelled again as she started pulling on her clothes.  
What is it? Asked Grissom sadly.  
We have to be at work in 20 minutes!  
Instant relief flooded Grissom as Sara quickly kissed him and ran out the door.  
  
Sara sat got out of her car kicking herself for not having extra clothes with her, as she heard her stomach rumble. She'd had no time to eat. When she rushed into the break room, Catharine, Warrick, and Nick were already there. They'd all been trained to see even the tiniest details, so it was obvious to them that Sara was wearing the same clothes she'd had on the night before. Nick smirked just before Sara snatched his chips out of his hand.  
Well, I wasn't going to eat them anyway, he joked.  
Good, I'm starved! she said as Grissom walked in the door with the night's assignments. They both tried their best not to look at each other lovingly, but weren't very effective.  
Catharine and Nick got in a tahoe on the way to investigate a kidnapping, when Catharine asked, Hey Nick, was it just me, or was there some sexual tension in that room?  
Yeah, Cath. You could cut it with a knife. Somebody got some action last night, and I'd be willing to bet it was Gris and Sara.  
  
  
The next morning, Gil and Sara were exhausted from their case. They lie in Grissom's bed holding each other.  
So, Gris, how long do you think it took the others to see we'd slept together?  
Oh, I'd say about two seconds after I walked in the door. But you know what, as much as I thought I would, I don't care. I love you Sara.  
Sara was suprised and excited at the same time. She'd waited so long to hear those words from him, and never really expected to. The thought made her warm inside. Wow. Thanks Gris. I really needed to hear that. Oh, and by the way, I love you too.


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: CSI is still not mine!  
So here's the next addition, I hope you like it. Thanks to all who've reviewed. It really encourages me to go on and it makes me happy to know that people are reading my work. Oh, and sorry about the spacing/indention problems...apparently my computer doesn't like to put them in when I convert..so anyway, I'm rambling...enjoy the chapter!  
  
  
Sara noticed the sun coming up and couldn't believe the end of shift was near, but she was excited because that meant that she and Grissom could have some more time together. She was interviewing a witness, but she couldn't keep her eyes off her lover, who was standing near the tahoe. At that moment, her world fell apart.  
  
The scream erupted from Sara's mouth as she saw him go down. She repeated as her feet led her to him as fast as she could go. Sobbing, she took him in her arms.  
The words came only as a whisper from his mouth.  
Sara didn't notice the swarm of people and chaos around her. At that moment, only they existed. Hang on Gris, she said as she ran her hand down his face and surveyed his wound: He'd been shot in the abdomen and was bleeding profusely. Hearing the sirens approach, Sara gently kissed his forehead.  
Sara, I love you, his raspy voice said as if it was the last time he'd ever say it.  
I love you too Gil. Everything is going to be ok. I am not going lose you. She meant it, too There was no way she was going to let the past two days of bliss they'd had end. Grissom WAS going to be fine.  
  
Grissom lost consciousness as the paramedics placed him on the gurney. I'm going with him, Sara demanded in a desperate tone. No one argued with her and she stepped into the ambulance. Hold on, Gris, hold on. She whispered, scared of what she would do if he didn't.  
  
Catharine answered her phone as she was getting into her car to go home and fix breakfast for Lindsey. She thought she heard a siren in the background  
It's Sara. There were tears in her voice. Look, wherever you are, call up the guys and head to the hospital. Grissom's been shot. She didn't even wait for a response before she hung up the phone. Another second and she broke down into tears. Focused on the frantic work of the paramedics, Sara was terrified. She'd never been that scared in her life.  
  
Warrick, Nick and Catharine climbed into a tahoe in silence. They all knew that Grissom must have been badly injured for her to have been upset as Catharine had described. Fearing the worst, they headed to the emergency room.  
  
Sara stood outside the trauma room Grissom was occupying. Despite her protests, they wouldn't allow her to come in. So she just stood there. waiting. Then she heard a sound she couldn't bear to hear....the flat lining of Grissom's heart. She tried to scream but no sound came from her mouth. In that moment, she wanted to run to him, scream, fall to the floor, and die. She saw the doctors scramble for the paddles and one of them yelled Grissom's body jolted from the electricity, but not like they depicted on tv. There was still no heartbeat. Oh, God. Gris.  
  
A hand fell on her shoulder. The rest of the night shift had arrived. They all heard one of the doctors say again. Nick, Warrick, Catharine, and Sara held onto each other and their breaths...


	4. chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or its characters!  
  
So, i have decided to add another chapter tonight, based on the reviews I am getting. Bear with me on the chapter length thing, I am trying to make them longer! enjoy!  
  
  
The most glorious sound Sara had ever heard finally came. Gil Grissom's heart was beating! All four CSI's were relieved, but Sara was beaming.   
He's alive! she said. But then it hit her. He wasn't out of the woods yet.  
  
A team of doctors and nurses rushed by with the unconscious Grissom. One stayed behind to fill them in.  
Mrs. Grissom... Hearing that really threw Sara off. She was happy to hear herself called that. Uh, that's Sidle, she corrected.  
Yes. Well, Gil is in critical condition. The bullet did a good deal of damage to his organs, and he's lost a lot of blood. We're rushing him to surgery, but there are no guarantees.  
Sara felt like she'd been shot. Not knowing what to do, she let her friends lead her to the waiting room. They all sat in silence for a few minutes. It was Warrick who spoke first. So, what happened? How'd Gris end up shot?  
Well...it's kind of a blur. I mean, He was just standing there and then he went down, Sara stammered. She then went on to explain how their suspect was the shooter and that Brass had run after him. Since she'd been so focused on Grissom, she really didn't know what happened after that.  
As if on cue, Brass walked in. How is he?  
Seeing that Sara couldn't answer, Nick did. Not good, man. He died on the table, but they revived him. Now he's in surgery. We don't know what is going to happen.  
There was an eerie silence as all of them took in the possibility of losing Grissom. The thought was unfathomable, especially to Sara who had finally gotten what she wanted, only to have it turned upside down. Brass left after he got an emergency page. The others just sat there in silence again. Each was in their own world, dreading the worst and hoping for the best.  
  
Catharine saw what the waiting and analyzing was doing to Sara. It was killing her. She knew that if she didn't say something, Sara was going to break down. So, Sar, tell me about you and Grissom. When did it all happen? She didn't know if it was the best question, but she thought it was still better than Sara thinking about the death of her lover.  
There was actually a semi smile on Sara Sidle's face. Yeah. That. Gris and I thought it was pretty obvious. The others nodded in agreement. The air had lightened a little. Well, we didn't officially get together' until two days ago, but we have been in love with each other for a long time. That came as no suprise to any of them.  
  
  
A few hours later, the doctor who had spoken to Sara came into the room. Well, he made it out of surgery. We had to remove some of his liver and repair his intestines, but the damage wasn't as bad as we had first thought. He isn't guaranteed to survive, but I'd say his chances are fairly good. He'll be out of recovery in the next thirty minutes and we will see about visitation then. They all said their thanks, not only to the doctor, but also to God.  
  
Sara was obviously the first to get to visit Grissom. The nurse said he might not wake up for a while, and that she could only visit him for twenty minutes. With this in mind, she grabbed his hand and kissed his head. Hey Gris. I guess you can't hear me, but I am here. I am not going to let you leave me, you hear? I love you too much. She took a moment to take everything in. He was paler than normal, but other than that he looked like he was just sleeping. He looked so peaceful. Please wake up, baby. I need you. Realizing what she had just said, she let out a chuckle. See, you should wake up on principle! Did you hear what I just called you?  
A faint Yeah, I heard you. escaped from his lips. You're gonna pay for that one.


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: like I said before, they aren't mine.  
Well, thanks to all who've reviewed! I know this might come as a disappointment to some of you, but this is the last chapter. I hope you all have enjoyed the ride as much as I did!  
Oh and by the way...did any of you actually BELIEVE I'd kill Grissom, I mean come on! ;)  
  
  
If she knew how, Sara would have been doing somersaults down the hall. She rushed into the waiting room with a grin so big it showed the gap between her teeth. He's awake! and he's doing really well!  
Her enthusiasm quickly spread to the others. She told them that they could go see Grissom for a few minutes, but then they would have to let him rest.  
Thirty minutes later, Sara lie asleep on a couch in the waiting room. Catharine had begged her to go home and get some sleep, but she had refused to leave Grissom alone in the hospital. She was awakened by a doctor being paged over the PC. Looking at her watch, she saw that she had been sleeping for two hours. Rubbing her eyes, she got up and walked to Grissom's room.  
He was sleeping when she arrived. Not wanting to wake him, she pulled up a chair and just watched him. Using her investigator's eyes, she noticed every detail. The way his normally impeccable hair was a little mussed and how he looked so vulnerable. She'd never seen him like that before. Watching him breathe, she couldn't think of anything she'd rather be doing.  
Well, hello there beautiful. Those words made Sara's heart flutter. it reminded her of when he'd told her that he'd become interested in beauty when he'd met her.  
You look pretty handsome yourself. How're you feeling?  
Like I've been shot, he mused. No, really, I am feeling pretty good considering. And having you here makes it that much better.  
Sara smiled. You know, Gil, you sure know how to make a girl feel special. So. Did you know we've been outed?  
Grissom grinned. I suspected. Sara, I'm not sure how to say this.  
Go ahead.  
I love you Sara, and after almost dying, I know that I can't live without you. We can't just sit around anymore. One of us could be gone in an instant and, well what I am trying to say is, will you marry me, Sara Sidle?  
What..I.. uh.. She was rendered temporarily speechless. Thinking of how many times she had wanted to say those words, she couldn't believe how suprised she was.  
I know I don't have a rin-  
Shh, Gris. That doesn't matter. Of course I'll marry you.  
An enormous grin erupted on both their faces as they embraces and shared a kiss.  
I do have one problem, though. As much as I love you.....Sara Grissom? I just don't know..  
  
  
-----Four Months Later-------  
I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.  
Grissom and Sara had chose to share the best moment of their lives with their friends in a cheesy casino chapel. They decided to go out Las Vegas style since it was their last day living and working there. Instead of deal with hurdles at work, they had decided to go back to where it all had begun: Harvard. Grissom was going to teach there, and Sara had secured a job as a Boston CSI. It seemed the ideal place to start their new life together and maybe even a family.  
  
Saying goodbye to the three people they'd gotten closer to, they headed for the airport. That moment was what both of them had always dreamt of and they knew it would only get better from there.


End file.
